Media and Community: All Grown Up

I offer heartfelt thanks to this community.

Last October, I took a screenshot of a Snapchat captioned, “I am a shell of the person I once was.” I laughed out loud when I read it, one of those hollow, bark-like laughs, because the message resonated so deeply with me. Last semester was one of the most difficult periods of my life. To be frank, it was miserable and I had no interest in returning for the spring semester. On September 3rd, I was sexually assaulted. After, my personality changed entirely. Where I had once been a vivacious morning person whose favorite activity was participating in class discussions, I transformed into a shell of my former self. I slept through all of my classes (even my 3:05!) and stopped socializing.

I hated the feeling of losing touch with the aspects of my personality I had loved; my intellectual curiosity and my willingness to talk to anyone like an old friend. For the spring, I only put classes on my WebTree that I thought might bring me back to life regardless of whether I needed the credit. Media and Community was on the top of the list. This class helped me emerge from my shell and discover some aspects of the Davidson community, socially and academically, from which I had shut myself off. My evolution is reflected in my work starting with my Tracing post and ending with my book project.

My Tracing post was rigid and overly formal for the blog format. I did not take the time to think critically or creatively about Fun Home, rather I just endeavored to write a paper that met traditional academic standards. My dispassionate approach showed. My sentences were boring and verbose, shortcomings which made my argument confusing. Cullen commented, “I had a hard time sometimes relating these insights back to your thesis. I think you maybe get lost in your thoughts a little bit.” He was right. I was so concerned with sounding scholarly that I lost sight of the purpose of the assignment– to forge an intimate connection with the text.

While I didn’t give myself the creative leeway to enjoy writing the Tracing post, I felt very accomplished after publishing my Impersonation post. I was beginning to feel comfortable having some fun while working on assignments for this class. Stepping into the fictional shoes of the Hunger Games’ set designer gave me some distance from myself and pushed me in the favor of blending creativity and academia. While my language still echoed typical papers, I was really excited about my argument and I think that showed in the design of my post. I spent just as much time finding the perfect photos and clips from the movie (I actually rewatched some of the movie to take screenshots) as I did writing my post.

Tracing post.

Impersonation post.

Impersonation post.

By the time our study of Beyoncé’s Lemonade rolled around, I had gotten back into the groove I’d thought was lost. Writing about a topic that I was equally invested in as both a Beyoncé fan and a scholar was freeing. For the first time, I allowed creative expression to take precedence over formality by designing my roundtable to mimic the transcript of a late-night talk show hosted by yours truly. Despite the silly concept, staying true to the form of the talk show made it easy for me to blend my own argument, the structure of the “roundtable” and voices from the community. I write, “Societal conceptions of black femininity are transcended as Beyoncé, a universally recognized symbol of black sexuality, turns convention on its head and offers justification for the anger so often associated with black femmes by revealing the evolution of her reaction to her own experiences with injustice. That’s the show for tonight. Thanks so much to our guests, Sesali Bowen and Wade Davis. Special shoutout to Beyoncé just for exisiting! Good night!” With this post, I finally felt comfortable committing to both argument and style.

Within these last few weeks of the semester, I have started to realize how much I will miss this course. The process of creating my final book project, entitled I Peaked in Preschool: An A-Z Procrastination Book, was particularly representative of how much I have grown since January. In an act of rebellion from typical academia, I made a pop-up book devoted to procrastination. Although time consuming, I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of brainstorming fold-out and pop-up elements. I took fun seriously and it felt wonderful.

Looking back, I have all but forgotten how trudging to classes that seemed rigid and impersonal felt. I don’t think there was a single day these past few months that I wasn’t yammering away about something the moment I stepped over the threshold of Studio B. In an article about the benefits of journaling for Psych Central, Maud Purcell writes, “The act of writing accesses your left brain, which is analytical and rational. While your left brain is occupied, your right brain is free to create, intuit and feel. In sum, writing removes mental blocks and allows you to use all of your brainpower to better understand yourself, others and the world around you.” This class served as my journal. Over the course of this semester I was able to let go of my preconceptions about what it meant to be a good student and learned to enjoy school again. Although I am sad that this course is over, I can’t wait to return in the fall.

Works Cited:

Purcell, Maud. “The Health Benefits of Journaling.” Psych Central. Psych Central, 17 July 2016. Web. 17 May 2017.