Connecting Myself to Literature

We began this course with a post about ourselves, and I never stopped relating all the subjects discussed online or in class to my life experiences. Throughout the course, I discovered how I could connect myself to literature, not necessarily by liking it, but rather by connecting my experiences and passions to the content. More specifically, I found that the relationship I have with my father was what I connected to everything we read and discussed.

My past with my father is quite complicated. He left my family about four years ago for another woman, or women I should probably say. Additionally, he left my mom, brothers, and I penniless and we still struggle to receive financial help from him today. I believe that the trauma from the series of unfortunate events my father put me through is always on the back of my mind, and my experiences with him come out through my writing.

Whenever I write it feels as if I am in a trance and someone is in my brain telling me what to do. I think that is why my father gets pulled into my writing, because those unresolved tensions are in the back of my mind right next to the little person writing for me.

This course helped me come to terms with these memories, and allowed me to utilize them for the good.

At first, I found it hard to verbalize the connection I had between the literature and myself. I felt as if I was unable to fully express how I connected to Allison Bechtel in our first post with literature. I could not find the words to describe the immense pain and sorrow I knew we both shared. I was able to breeze across the possible similarities she and I shared with our relationships with our parents, but never got deep into it.

Finally, our last project came along and a chord was struck between writing and my father. For the book project I chose to dedicate a page to every home I live in and write a memory associated with that house. It was because of my father and his homebuilding career that we were constantly on the move, even within one neighborhood,. trying to build and sell houses. This project was a genuine experience for me in that I had to go through all the past different families and people I was to create the book. Going back to when my family was rich and happy was hard, but through the book I was able to express my feelings and write about it. Then going through the rocky transition between my father leaving and the divorce was emotionally draining, especially during finals. But I was somehow able to finally put my feelings into words. I have been trying to write out my life through houses, which I have always thought about but never been able to do till now.

Additionally, as we went through the other posts, I began to grow stronger and stronger as a writer through voicing my true feelings and compassions. I learned that I could speak for myself in anyway, and not have to abide by strict rules and write for my teacher. I was able to write for myself. Once this struck me, I dug deep into my core values in our favorite poem post, unaware that I was even getting graded on it as I wrote it.

I brought these traits to our Multi Mediation post as well. I was again able to write about what I am actually passionate for. I found this to be a continuous pattern throughout this course. Writing about the Semicolon Project was a true joy and I was completely fulfilled by transforming my college essay into a snapchat story.
Our English class has taught me how to write fearlessly about any subject, and that I can connect any type of literature to my life experiences and passions. My writing also improved just from the immensity of it compared to other courses, and the fact that it was actually enjoyable. I wish I had learned how to write like this earlier, but I feel blessed that I can now.